i was long planning to move to Moscow as soon as i gave up on my attempts on moving abroad after a few years passed since my return from France in 2019

i don't remember why exactly i needed the IELTS exam, but i just went to Moscow for a couple of days to sit the exam. i stayed at Aleksandra's place who by that time returned from Spain and decided to begin a new life in the capital..

my relation with Moscow has always been kinda dashed, it inspired me a lot and inhaled the love for freedom during my first trip with parents in 2001 (before the freedoms start to decline in Russia), then t hen there was a period of silence, then starting from 2006 each year my mom and i traveled to western Europe through Moscow, then on the dawn of blogging i had a virtual crush on a guy from Moscow and came to visit him in 2008, so my interest to the city (much changed visually during this decade) re-emerged. it has always had this bright spark because Moscow has always been a shining star, dimmed periodically by historical circumstances, rhetorical narratives, the authorities and corruption caused by the government and the depth of ignorance of the people. but this is what forms the face of the city, whether we like it or not.. the tendency was to put more and more make-up to cover the ever present and ever palpable existence of it's dark underbelly

a new controversial chapter in my life was at the doorstep, a story of love and hate, give and take. i could only guess what awaits me, the highest hopes and the deepest falls. the city that will always be a very important part of me and the one not deserving me staying there too. one of the brightest bifurcations in the fucked up cascade of my life so far

by 2015 Moscow has already changed a lot since the first time i had chance to visit it. from a flamboyant freak beautiful in its chaos it transformed into someone who puts the comfort above all, including its own dignity. free wifi everywhere including underground, 24/7 open malls, taxi and food delivery that even an entry level worker could afford. impressive highways and ever expanding metro lines with obnoxiously beautiful stations. new ultra modern parks with bike lanes, scooters, skate areas were popping out every year. it was no longer the raw filled with asphalt Moscow of 2000-s crammed with kiosks and temporary shops and ugly commercial centers blocking the view on the historical part.

you could run across less and less freaks in the streets, guys would no longer dare to hold each other by the hands in the streets. Moscow was getting more sterile, slowly becoming a tremendously fake showcase of itself. though it was yet to come, you could already feel it in the air